non-existence ver3.stained

.Chii.
23rd March
(same as Minekura Kazuya-sensei)
21. Dragon. Aries.
Atheist. Cynic. Lamer. Perfectionist. Packrat.
Ngee Ann Pri. School choir.
Tanjong Katong Sec. School choir.
Temasek Poly. Logistics & Ops Mgmt.
· · ·
The University of Newcastle (PSB Academy, Singapore campus). BA of Communication.

.Wishlist.
48 hours each day.
iPod nano 2nd gen skin and pouch.

.My Website.
Musings

.My Inner Writer.
. Arietis .
Chii.Sepyhn @ FictionPress.com
Chii.Sephyn @ FanFiction.Net

.Blogskin Credits.
orangebananas @ deviantART
And my narcissistic self.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

10:29 pm

sometimes i really don't understand my father.
ok, make that most of the time.

given that i was brought up by my grandparents and even after they put me back in my parents' care, it was just mostly my mother because my father was working overseas and i used to see him like, twice, or even once a year.
surely this will mean lesser things in common to talk about.
plus he always has these dumb expectations of me.

be a dentist!
go to jc!
your wasting your time in poly!
blah blah blah.

everything i say or do is forever too childish, too naive, not good enough for him.
what, even loyalty and pride i have for my secondary school and other affiliations is considered kiddish?!
don't waste time on manga! don't waste time on online games!
i'm having a term break here?
you can't expect me to study 24/7 during a term break, can you?

if he doesn't try to understand what are the thing i'm saying, how can he keep saying that i don't open up to him?
if he doesn't try to understand what are the things that are important to me, how can he see things from my point of view and not just deny everything i say or do?
if he doesn't try to stop his obstinate thinking and try to listen, for a change, how can he assume that he has the right to keep victimising himself, oh how sad that his daughter doesn't talk to him or try to be intimate!

sheesh!
for one, i'm not a touchy-feely person.
and two, does it always have to be me who starts a conversation?
i'm not the one in this family that doesn't say a word about what happens outside this house, not telling the rest of us where he works and stuff like that, even if someone asked.

oh, here i am, cracking my head over this father-daughter thing and for all i know, he doesn't even bother anymore.
fine, whatever.
i don't want to give a damn about this anymore anyways.

Chii... falling into the nothingness
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