Monday, January 29, 2007
2:08 pm
*warning: long post ahead*
i remember when we where all young and way too innocent (at least i was, donkey years ago), we used to fantasise about the one person who'd come along and we'd give our all just to spend a happily ever after with that person.
sort of a fairy tale story, but i blame the notion on the excessive viewing of beautiful disney stories.
yeah, well, it was when everyone was naïve enough to think that the world was only capable of wonderful things like love and compassion.
back when there was no war, no outright terrorism, no dumb presidents, no barbaric politicians, and that tyrant rulers only exist in fictions, to be overthrown by its protagonist.
yet now, even the only planet where we can live on is slowly dying.
who now in their right minds still believe in "forever till the last beat of my heart"?
even i am beginning to be skeptic about the right person appearing in my life at the right time who will say and do all the right things to make me feel that the world is right again.
"forever" is just too far beyond our reach and ends too fast for anyone's likings.
but then at times like this, it will just so happen that someone unexpected will find what everyone has been searching for and could not find.
which brings me to my next point.
last night, while surfing cuteoverload, i came across the site for voting the best sites of 2007, and while looking through the rest of the categories, there was one for GLBT (gay/lesbian/bi/trans) blogs.
blame it on my obsession with yaoi and stuff, i went to Scott-O-Rama to calm my curiosity.
really, it was quite a normal blog like ones that other normal straight people might have, save for the few pictures of (in scott's opinion, because that sort of physique isn't really my type) hunky guys that he would post for his "monday eye candy" section.
and somehow amidst the posts you will find the name "buckaroo" popping up at random intervals.
right, he's scott's boyfriend for more than ten years.
10 LONG YEARS!
and there's no presence of any tangible proof of their bond as compared to other straight couples who'd divorce after a few short years or even months of marriage.
perhaps it is because these people realise that "love" is something too fragile and vague to hold onto, especially considering their situation, while most teenagers nowadays overrate "true love" and overtly underrate "true love".
i won't even start on how creepy it is to see couples as young as 14-15 making out and getting touchy-feely anywhere you can set your eyes on.
does it really matter whether the person you want to be with is the same gender as you?
has anyone found a dictionary that defines "love" mutually exclude the feeling between different-gendered individuals?
what's really important is the sincerity of that feeling and i really don't understand how people can go around proclaiming how disgusting same-sex relationships are and professively insulting it about how they take it up their *ahem* southern end.
for goodness' sake, which other opening do you see at the lower end?!
granted, hearing about lesbian couples could make me squirm mildy once in a long while, it still doesn't mean that what these people have are wrong.
and that's more than what i can say for straight couples who come together just for the sake of it and then switching off the other half when they get bored with each other as if it was just a game of possession to pass time.
then again, i'm cynical about almost everything.
cynically skeptic, if i would say so myself.
for most times i even wonder whether i may live the later parts of my life old, winkled and lonely with only a rocking chair and the television to keep me company.
and maybe a few stray cats that i may have picked up from the void decks.
whatever.
anyways, when the four of us (julia, yl, ym and i) where at Cheers! before communication skills2 started this afternoon, we came across the newspaper stand near the entrance and saw the news about the taiwanese actress xu wei lun who passed away last night.
can't say that i'm a big fan of her drama series, since i've only seen one of it and it was just so i could watch my favourite taiwanese actor mike ho.
but there was a weird sense of sadness as the four of us started to get all worked up over the sheer unbelievability (is there such a word?) of it all when it was only the night before last that the news said she was in ICU.
i would say it's because of her age, although twenty-eight isn't all-too-young, but because she already has had achievements.
and it's a real pity when you think of all the new shows she would have taken part in if the accident hadn't happen.
plus, from what i gather from my other friends, the actress was quite talented in other areas, namely her musicality.
not to mention that most taiwanese artistes have finished basic university courses or higher.
it was sort of weird that all i was thinking of when i was on the bus to school this morning was about love and gay issues, then it switched to death and life's fragility when i was heading back home.
one can say that life is too short, yet sometimes each day seems to drag on endlessly. and there are times when you think life is so long that you are able to complete everything on your "to-do list before you die" when unexpected deaths happen and shake your mind up for a bit.
life is only as strong as it's vulnerability, and sometimes even i ponder about whether i could open my eyes to a new day after falling asleep.
ah~ that being all typed out, i can now finally study for tomorrow's communication skills2 test.
bleah-ness.