Friday, December 12, 2008
9:52 pm
Fashion disaster, thy name is 'Mother'.
Look at that!
LOOK!
And what is that tag? How should I describe it?
Gaudy? Tacky?
I have no words.
The wordings on the tag are actually in GOLD, and some areas were already washed off after ONE run in the washing machine.
(I used the black side of my blanket as a background in hopes that the tee wouldn't look too bad against it. I rest my case. If it looks horrible in the first place, NOTHING, will make it look even an iota better.)
Last weekend she went shopping with my paternal grandmother and despite my multiple warnings not to buy anything for me, and that I can live through one Chinese New Year with no new clothes, she's done it again.
The woman just waltzed into my room when they got back and went "Look! I bought you new tee-shirts!"
I blanched at that... mess. No words could have begun to described the expression on my face, nor the collective of exclamations and curses that hurricaned through my mind.
No words, I tell you.
(She bought two tees, actually. But the other one was just a cheaper, more plain, and deeper red version of an Esprit tee I had, so that's not a valid argument in her favour either. Why buy an almost-duplicate of something I already had?)
First, the colour.
Come on, tell me that was not what caught your unfortunate eyes right away.
I'm fine with stripes. And I'm obsessed with polo tees. The colour? Pure apparel vulgarity.
Tell me you disagree. I'll probably whack you upside the head, though.
There is an unspoken rule about stripes on tee-shirts: Colour contrast.
Grey and pale orange and pale green?
I can feel my bile acting up.
Then it was the fabric.
Perhaps it's hard to tell from the photographs, but already it's stretched and the seams aren't straight anymore.
FROM ONE WASH IN THE WASHING MACHINE.
Even my Giordano tee lasted longer than that, and their tees are notorious for wayward seams that don't survive multiple washings.
My mother was gushing on and on about "Now you'll have something to wear for Chinese New Year!"
The mind shuts down.
She wants me to wear that outside of our house, while we go visit friends and relatives?
The mind explodes.
'Nuff said.